While editing, I found many challenges, like puzzles, to suggest to writers to do rewrites for the rough and awkward sentences that I found. Any line that did not flow well was fair game to me. When I could, I offered suggestions for rewrites that were based on the writer's style.
Exploring A Sentence is a visual display of what goes on in a sentence. My Writing Challenge, that follows, encourges you to work with a sentence of your own.
Exploring A Sentence
Every sentence has information about who, what, where, when
and why. Some sentences have the information in different orders. The power of
a sentence, or strength of pace of a sentence, depends on a certain information
order. You, the author, choose the order of importance of the information to
build up or slow down momentum, create emotional tension, reveal mystery, or anything
you want to achieve.
Categories of Information:
WHO
|
WHAT
|
WHERE
|
WHEN
|
WHY
|
1) Examine the following sentence:
Billy was in
the kitchen today, painting a picture for his class assignment.
WHO
|
VERB
|
WHERE
|
WHEN
|
WHAT
|
WHY
|
Billy
|
was
|
in the kitchen
|
today,
|
painting a
picture
|
for a class
assignment.
|
A couple of things happen in this sentence:
Verb: “was”
(weak)
Pace: slower, more words
Comma: used
Information importance: who, WHERE, when, what, why
2) Rewrite this sentence with a new order of categories.
Billy painted
a picture in the kitchen for a class assignment today.
WHO
|
VERB
|
WHAT
|
WHERE
|
WHY
|
WHEN
|
Billy
|
painted
|
a picture
|
in the kitchen
|
for a class
assignment
|
today.
|
A couple of
things happen in this sentence:
Verb: “painted” (strong)
Verb: “painted” (strong)
Pace: faster, fewer
words
Comma: not used
Information
importance: who, WHAT, where, when, why
Choosing a different order of information can build up or slow down momentum, create emotional tension, and reveal mystery; all to help you achieve a believable story.
Choosing a different order of information can build up or slow down momentum, create emotional tension, and reveal mystery; all to help you achieve a believable story.
WHEN/WHY
|
WHO
|
VERB
|
WHAT
|
WHERE
|
For today’s
class assignment
|
Billy
|
painted
|
in the kitchen.
|
This order creates possible questions in the reader’s mind. A mystery was created, WHAT is not defined, which moves the story forward. WHAT
did Billy paint in the kitchen? Did he paint the walls or maybe a still life
scene on a canvas?
Changing the word order can change the pace of the reading, and create a motivation for the reader to turn the page and finish the book in one sitting.
Changing the word order can change the pace of the reading, and create a motivation for the reader to turn the page and finish the book in one sitting.
My Writing Challenge
1. Pick a sentence from one of your stories.
Examine its Categories of Information. What is important to the character? Did you 1) build up or slow down momentum, 2) create emotional tension, or 3) reveal mystery?
2. Rewrite the sentence.
Shift the emphasis of importance. Did you change momentum, tension, or mystery? Does it help the character, the plot, or narrative?
Examine its Categories of Information. What is important to the character? Did you 1) build up or slow down momentum, 2) create emotional tension, or 3) reveal mystery?
2. Rewrite the sentence.
Shift the emphasis of importance. Did you change momentum, tension, or mystery? Does it help the character, the plot, or narrative?
3. Post a comment.
Please share your two sentences and tell how the rewrite helped!
THANKS for taking my challenge!
